markus lee and the perfect boy paradigm

[ajayinthedark]

Something I only started to articulate this year is what I’ve dubbed the “perfect boy paradigm”, and as with all things in my life, I’m relating it back to 7dream.

One of the generally universal mlm experiences is this tendency to fixate on specific attractive men that capture the essence of “masculinity”. I’ve mentioned this before in other Retrospring answers by calling it the “I want to be you vs. I want you” dichotomy, but I wasn’t giving the full picture.

Even in the twenty-first century, masculine gender roles tend to be pretty rigid, and toxic masculinity is very much present; the perfect boy paradigm stems from that, plus a healthy sprinkling of internalised homophobia (and maybe even internalised misogyny. I don’t think I could expand on this part well). The “I want to be you” half doesn’t just come from a place of looking up to a role model, or aspiring to have certain skills/personality traits, instead coming from this intrinsic tendency to conform and compensate for one’s own queerness by Embodying Masculinity To A T. This makes the “I want you” half more blurred, because it stops being “I’m attracted to you” and more “If I can’t be you, I should have you, because you are the ideal”.

Thing is, what took me so long to recognise the perfect boy paradigm as common all across the board is because my own perfect boys are totally different from most of my gay friends’ perfect boys. Rather than some souped up white guy on some sports team, my perfect boys were k-pop idols (and also Gong Yoo and, like, Wang Yibo). For them, perfect boys chopped lumber and liked to hunt and could cook food without being ashamed of it. For me, perfect boys can flirt with their coworkers and do aegyo on idol shows without ever needing to question their identities as, well, boys. Still, it all boils down to: “This is what I see as masculinity. This is what a man should be like. I need to be that/I need that.”

I’m sure there’s similar paradigms across all gender identities, but I just don’t know enough to go in depth, and I don’t think they’re truly the same.

That being said, when I see people talking about how 6dream have all had crushes on Mark, I think specifically, at some point, Mark was 6dream’s perfect boy. Mark is someone that, in my opinion, exemplifies young masculinity: he’s sweet, romantic, good with words, mature, physically and mentally strong, comfortable expressing his feelings through actions and writing, even more comfortable dipping into his sex appeal on stage, etc etc the list goes on. While I think most people grasp the feeling that Mark is 6dream’s perfect boy, I don’t know if I’ve ever read a fic where it’s specifically addressed.

To conclude, here are my thoughts on 7dream’s perfect boys, from most to least influential on their current selves:

Mark: Taeyong, Johnny.

Renjun: Doyoung, Winwin, Mark.

Jeno: Mark, Doyoung, Jaehyun.

Haechan: Mark, Baekhyun, Taemin, Johnny, Ten, and I guess Michael Jackson.

Jaemin: Mark.

Chenle: Mark, Kun, Taeyong, Stephen Curry, Jaemin, Jeno.

Jisung: Renjun, Taemin, Mark.

Hope this makes sense. IDK guys I may talk loud shit but I’m so mid at meta that this might just be an incomprehensible mess.